The Hardest Job in the World

The Hardest Job in the World

May 20th, 2006, was the day that my world turned upside down. This was the day thing deployment. During this time, I had all of the time to sit around and think. I found myself crying in the bathroom with the door locked. I at I married a soldier. During my dating years, I had dated military men and I thought that I had a clear understanding of what military life was like. Boy was I wrong. Two weeks after we were married, my husband came down with orders to deploy to Iraq and I was devastated because I was prepared for him to deploy in six months, not in one month. The weeks before he deployed were extremely depressing because he was always at work being trained for the upcomthought that this part of our marriage was supposed to be the honeymoon phase, but it was clearly far from that. It felt as though we were emotionally withdrawing from each other. We were so scared because we did not know what the future held for us. Every time I looked at my husband, I could not help, but think what I would do if something happened to him? What would I do if I lost the love of my life? About a week before he was suppose to ship off to Iraq, he came home with funeral arrangement papers. This absolutely broke my heart because I did not want to face the reality that my husband could get injured or die at war. I loathed that we had to be put into this situation, but I knew that this would happen sometime during his military career. I felt hatred toward him because he was leaving, but I knew that if he had an opportunity to stay home that he would take it.

Well judgment day crept up on us rather quickly. I went up to his company with him to spend our last few hours together before he had to leave for a year. I watched as he helped load everyone’s military equipment into the trucks, which would take them to the Air Force Base.

All of the wives, including myself, were crying while they witnessed this. The time to say our good-byes finally came and I held on to him with everything I had. We shared one more kiss and I waved goodbye to him as the trucks mounted the road to the Air Force Base. After saying my goodbye’s, I jumped into my truck, lit a cigarette, and headed home. Not even ten minutes into my drive, my husband called me and said, “Jamie, our plane flight has been scratched, could you please come back and pick me up?” Of course I pulled a u-turn and picked up my husband. I could not believe how lucky we were to have a chance to spend some more time together! I imagined us lying in bed together talking about all of the little things. I knew that I was really going to miss our pillow talks and now we had a chance to share this blissful pastime once again before he left. All I wanted to do was cuddle with him, kiss him, and watch our favorite movies together. I was so excited and I could not help but cry those endless tears when I saw his beautiful face as he climbed into the truck. While we were driving home he told me that he is scheduled to fly out at the same time tomorrow. After we got home, we decided that we wanted to have a nice and romantic night in. During these cherished moments, we ordered our favorite Chinese food, watched our favorite movies, and explored each others beautiful bodies. Afterwards, we laid in each other’s arms and he held me so tight and it felt as if his arms said, “I will never let you go.” After our lovely night in, we got up in the morning and got everything ready to go and drop him off once again. This day felt like dejavu because the same exact things took place again, except this time his plane flight was not scratched. Once again I got into my truck, lit a cigarette, and headed to work. Once I arrived at work, I clocked in and went about my usual assistant manager duties. However, while I stocked the shelves I became dizzy and almost blacked out. My manager approached me and asked me if I needed to go home, but I refused to go home. After that incident, everything went smoothly until the end of my shift. After the store closed, I bought a pregnancy test because my monthly friend was late for her visit. After my purchase, I retreated to the ladies room, took the test, and found out that I was expecting a baby! I called my husband during his layover in St. Louis and I shared my wonderful news with him. He was ecstatic! That was the last time that I spoke with him until the following week. I then received an e-mail from him, letting me know that he had made it safe and sound. Later that day, I received a phone call from him and it was so wonderful to hear his voice. After the phone call, another slow week had gone by and I had not heard anything from him. This was when my mother and I would watch the news every evening to find out what was going on with the war.

After his unit was settled into their designated base, the family members were informed of their mailing address. My husband and I would communicate by means of letters, telephone calls, e-mail, and instant messaging. We could get to talk to each other about once or twice a week because that was the only free time he had between his assigned missions. Every time I heard his voice, I could tell that he was changing. I did not know if this change for better or worse. Only time would tell. I knew that war sometimes did that to soldiers. Soldiers had to kill or be killed, watch their comrades die right in front of them, risk getting injured, and they were separated from their loved ones. I could not imagine what my husband had to go through, but I knew that he was a strong and loving person and that he would always use his best judgment when he found himself in difficult situations.

During this deployment, I was pregnant with our daughter. I was delighted that we were having a baby, but I was extremely nervous as well because I was going to be a first time mother. When I was growing up, I had always dreamed that my husband would be with me during our doctor appointments, to hear the baby’s heartbeat, look at the ultrasound, and of course spoil me. I hated that he was missing out on all of the little moments of my pregnancy because I knew that he wanted to be there with me so badly.

In November, my husband’s platoon was attacked. During this attack, several of his soldiers were injured and one died. When my husband had a chance to call me, I could tell that he was extremely upset and I tried my best to comfort him, but there was only so much that I could do on a telephone. I just wanted to reach through the phone, hold him in my arms, and tell him that everything was going to be okay. After this horrible incident, more soldiers were injured and a few lost their lives serving their country. My husband was one of the injured soldiers. When I received the phone call, which informed me that my husband had been shot in the neck, I was thirty eight weeks pregnant and on my way out the door to pick up some last minute baby items. I did not recognize the phone number that showed up on my caller ID, but I had a gut feeling that I should answer the call. When I answered my husband’s 1SGT asked, “Is this Mrs. Jamie Holsinger?” I replied, “Yes, it is, how can I help you?” He then said, “I do not want to alarm you ma’am, but your husband was shot in the neck by a bullet that ricocheted.” He assured me that he was going to be fine and then I had the chance to speak to my husband and I told him, “Eli Samuel, please keep your head down out there. I love you.”
The next day I had an appointment to see my midwife and she admitted me into the hospital to stabilize my blood pressure. All of my stress caused my blood pressure to accelerate. I was prescribed blood pressure medicine and placed on bed rest until my due date. During deployments, soldiers usually get leave for two weeks. Since I expected to have our daughter at the beginning of April, my husband and I decided that he was going to take his leave during that time frame. I was so nervous, yet excited to see him again! It felt like I was dreaming because after the first two weeks of his deployment, the months seemed to just fly by. I was very thankful that I had college and family to occupy my time with. Everyday my belly was growing and I made sure to send my husband a picture every week so he could see our baby developing. Finally the time had arrived for his leave and I was so nervous because we had not seen each other in eight months. When my husband flew into Atlanta he called me to let me know what time he would be flying into Fayetteville. I then packed my bags and headed to the airport. He called me as soon as his plane landed, so I got out of the truck, and went inside the airport to go and meet him. I walked in the door and there he stood. He was a sight for sore eyes. When I first saw him I hugged him and kissed and thanked God that he was alive. I inspected his wound and kissed it over and over.

For two days we spent some much needed time together. Of course we had our tender loving care sessions and it was so emotional, joyous, and loving. I finally had my love back in my arms and honestly, it was one of the best feelings that an army wife could ever feel. We went shopping for our soon to be daughter and spoiled each other silly with massages and more tender loving care. I never wanted him to leave me again, but I knew that he had a job that must be done. We were so ecstatic that he was able to be home to see our daughter be brought into the world.
On his third day home, my midwife thought it was best for my labor to be induced. The next day our little angel was welcomed to the world. Eli was thrilled that he was able to be there for the birth of our daughter. Two weeks after Kelly’s birth, Eli had to fly back to Iraq.
Late one night I received a phone call from my husband letting me know that he made it back safely. About a month after he returned to Iraq, we were informed that the one year deployment had been extended to a fifteen month deployment. I was so heartbroken because he was supposed to be home with me and our daughter in two months. I wondered why this was happening because it was not fair. After I found out the horrific news, Eli called me and we cried together on the phone. During the phone call, we both agreed that life was not fair. Life was not fair because we had to endure this separation and miss out on precious moments in our lives.
The last months of the deployment flew by because I was so busy with a newborn and school work. My husband and I talked to each other as often as we could. We were so ready for him to come home. Every time we spoke he stressed to me how badly he wanted to be home and watch his daughter grow. I e-mailed him pictures of his daughter every day.
He was very busy with missions, but he did not mind that because the time flew by when he was busy. The end of the deployment approached quickly and all of the military wives worked together to make a welcome sign for the returning soldiers. I could not sleep a wink the night before I was suppose to pick him up from green ramp because I was so excited! The day was finally here! The longest fifteen months of my life was were finally over and we had both survived. I got our daughter ready and left for Green Ramp. Their plane seemed to take forever and a day to arrive. When the plane finally landed, the soldiers had a brief ceremony and then we took daddy home! Our family was finally whole again and life was grand.
I believe that being a military wife is the hardest job in the world because we have to be strong for our family and hold down the fort when daddy is away at war. It is very hard for spouses to be separated for such a long period of time because war does change soldiers. Throughout this experience I learned several things, such as, military wives may not ever see their husbands again, families are torn apart, some relationships become stronger, that we have to hold down the fort, and we have to be strong enough for our families.